You’ve matched, and there’s an empty message box. Most people type “Hey” or “How’s it going?” and are surprised when nothing comes back. The problem isn’t rudeness. Those messages just don’t give the other person anything to answer.
A good first message has one job: be easy to reply to. Here are eight ways to do that.
1. Mention something specific from their profile
The mountain in their photo, the show in their bio, the laugh in their voice note. A concrete detail shows you actually looked.
“Is that Cappadocia in your photo? Did you go up in a balloon or watch from the ground?”
2. Start with something you share
If you both love the same thing, that’s the easiest opener there is. On Solvemate you already know each other’s answers when you match, and the app suggests topics from the ones you share.
“We both picked brunch for Saturday mornings. Do you have a favorite spot, or is it brunch at home?”
3. Ask open questions
Yes-or-no questions end conversations. Questions that start with “what”, “how” or “why” keep them going.
- Instead of “Do you read?”: “What’s the last book you couldn’t put down?”
- Instead of “Do you like travelling?”: “Where have you been that you’d go back to?”
4. Offer a small choice
Picking between two options is fun and easy to answer.
“Urgent question: beach or mountains?”
5. Add something about yourself
Only asking questions feels like an interview. Add your own answer next to the question.
“I’m not a person before my morning coffee. Are you a morning person?”
6. Try light humor
Not a forced joke, just a line that lightens the moment. A smile puts people at ease.
“I got all your questions right on the first try. Should we call that luck or fate?”
7. Keep it short
A first message isn’t a letter. Two or three sentences are enough. A long paragraph makes replying harder.
8. Don’t push if there’s no reply
Everyone has their own pace, and sometimes people are just busy. One gentle follow-up is fine; a string of messages feels like pressure.
First messages to avoid
- Just “hey” or “what’s up”. There’s nothing to answer.
- Comments on looks. Even meant as a compliment, they can feel uncomfortable in a first message.
- Copy-paste openers. It shows when you send everyone the same thing.
- Asking for a number or a date right away. Let the conversation settle first.
First messages on Solvemate
To match on Solvemate you have to get someone’s four questions right. So when you write your first message, you’re not starting from a blank page but from four things you’ve learned about them. The app suggests topics from the answers you share at the start of the chat. The message is always yours, in your own words; the app never writes it for you.